Great post! I think what gets men insecure and desire to rediscover their masculinity is groups in society challenge gender norms, and question assumed gender differences. If you question the foundational patriachal beliefs about gender roles and what makes a man a man and a woman a woman, you question your own place within society. I think when you feel like a ship out at sea, lonely and feeling undervalued, that risk of uncertainty is scary, and the certainty of patriarchy is alluring even if it's oppressive.
Absolutely spot on. As a young person who used to be right-leaning and followed fascist grifters like Jordan Peterson, I can attest that used to fall for the propaganda that "feminists are ruining western civilization" or whatever because I felt insecure and alone, and this insecurity/loneliness was reinforced by the patriarchal standards that we set on men and women. Even after putting all of that behind me I still have difficulty expressing my emotions. I don't think a lot of people understand the irreparable harm people like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate inflict on young men.
Thank you for writing this. It is thoughtful and essential that men have more exposure to these realities and truths about relationships. Being vulnerable about your own perceptions and conditioning gives this a trustworthy voice that hopefully resonates with other men who are tired of the paralyzing constraints of masculinity. There is no one way dehumanization.
This piece is really wonderful, thank you for taking the time to articulate these things so clearly and directly. It's fascinating for me as a trans woman to have grappled with the same social factors and environments, but with a different perspective and outcome. My relationship to masculinity and the men in my life has absolutely been damaged by the issues you describe, but I appreciate seeing that there's at least some men working to chart a new and different course.
Great article. Individuals like Tate are predators and hustlers, insecure bullies despite their bravado. I read that he and his brother were arrested for human trafficking among other charges. It didn't surprise me.
The rise in aggressive misogyny, especially in white men, is a backlash to their losing societal control. Attacking women both physically and verbally is age old however. The Old Testament is replete with it. Women are "evil" the root of men's demise. As a woman I'm sick of this s**t!
Violence against women is a global epidemic. Femicide is worldwide. Human trafficking of women is a billion dollar industry. Who are the perpetrators? Guess.
You left out incels and their "entitlement" to sex in your analysis.
I appreciate your soul searching. Just be human. Stop focusing on male/female. Just be the human being you are and realize we're all human beings. See everyone as struggling fellow humans. Gender isn't an identity. We're souls sent into a terribly broken world that needs our help. You're breaking the cycle by changing your viewpoint. Thank you.
I'm on this journey with you. In case you haven't read it--but I suspect you have--the book "The Will to Change" by bell hooks is a good read, and it explores what you're exploring here.
Real talk: as a cis man myself, I can feel so alienated from the inadequacies and fucked up beliefs of some cis men that I start questioning my own sense of reality and wonder if I'm a man at all. And while it's good to keep an open mind about our gender, I've come to realize that I've fallen for their sexist, transphobic idea that if you support and affirm women, you must *by necessity* be a woman yourself. If you support and affirm trans people, you must be secretly trans too. As if they are the only valid cis men and I'm invalid.
But nah, fuck that. I wanna be one of the boys and fuck them for trying to ruin it for me and so many others.
Great post! I think what gets men insecure and desire to rediscover their masculinity is groups in society challenge gender norms, and question assumed gender differences. If you question the foundational patriachal beliefs about gender roles and what makes a man a man and a woman a woman, you question your own place within society. I think when you feel like a ship out at sea, lonely and feeling undervalued, that risk of uncertainty is scary, and the certainty of patriarchy is alluring even if it's oppressive.
Absolutely spot on. As a young person who used to be right-leaning and followed fascist grifters like Jordan Peterson, I can attest that used to fall for the propaganda that "feminists are ruining western civilization" or whatever because I felt insecure and alone, and this insecurity/loneliness was reinforced by the patriarchal standards that we set on men and women. Even after putting all of that behind me I still have difficulty expressing my emotions. I don't think a lot of people understand the irreparable harm people like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate inflict on young men.
Thank you for writing this. It is thoughtful and essential that men have more exposure to these realities and truths about relationships. Being vulnerable about your own perceptions and conditioning gives this a trustworthy voice that hopefully resonates with other men who are tired of the paralyzing constraints of masculinity. There is no one way dehumanization.
This piece is really wonderful, thank you for taking the time to articulate these things so clearly and directly. It's fascinating for me as a trans woman to have grappled with the same social factors and environments, but with a different perspective and outcome. My relationship to masculinity and the men in my life has absolutely been damaged by the issues you describe, but I appreciate seeing that there's at least some men working to chart a new and different course.
Absolutely fantastic piece. I saw this in one of your tweets and it’s inspired me to create a sub stack for my writing. Thank you
Great article. Individuals like Tate are predators and hustlers, insecure bullies despite their bravado. I read that he and his brother were arrested for human trafficking among other charges. It didn't surprise me.
The rise in aggressive misogyny, especially in white men, is a backlash to their losing societal control. Attacking women both physically and verbally is age old however. The Old Testament is replete with it. Women are "evil" the root of men's demise. As a woman I'm sick of this s**t!
Violence against women is a global epidemic. Femicide is worldwide. Human trafficking of women is a billion dollar industry. Who are the perpetrators? Guess.
You left out incels and their "entitlement" to sex in your analysis.
I appreciate your soul searching. Just be human. Stop focusing on male/female. Just be the human being you are and realize we're all human beings. See everyone as struggling fellow humans. Gender isn't an identity. We're souls sent into a terribly broken world that needs our help. You're breaking the cycle by changing your viewpoint. Thank you.
I'm on this journey with you. In case you haven't read it--but I suspect you have--the book "The Will to Change" by bell hooks is a good read, and it explores what you're exploring here.
Real talk: as a cis man myself, I can feel so alienated from the inadequacies and fucked up beliefs of some cis men that I start questioning my own sense of reality and wonder if I'm a man at all. And while it's good to keep an open mind about our gender, I've come to realize that I've fallen for their sexist, transphobic idea that if you support and affirm women, you must *by necessity* be a woman yourself. If you support and affirm trans people, you must be secretly trans too. As if they are the only valid cis men and I'm invalid.
But nah, fuck that. I wanna be one of the boys and fuck them for trying to ruin it for me and so many others.
Man this is some Bs